Illegitimi Non Carborundum

That Latin phrase that is the heading of this post? It's my quote of the day. I'll translate it at the end. Even though it's kind of a fake Latin phrase, it's one of my favorites. It has to do with how I feel about my blog subject today.

First, I'll explain that I LOVE a good quote. About anything. Life, love, books, learning, dogs, basically anything brilliant that someone has said in the past, I'll write it down in my journal (or now this blog) or on a Post-It note and refer to it as needed. I love brilliant minds.

Today is pretty darn hot for a Southern California day. My Internet says 79*, but it's muggy and gross outside. I think it's wrong and it's hotter. Thank you Jeebus for A/C and my momma for letting me run it. And no, Jeebus is not a typo. Google it if you have time. My fellow Simpsons fans will get it. So, I'm chilling inside, watching some 30 Rock and decided to write. Ahhh... 30 Rock. Good place for quotes. Not necessarily inspirational, but amusing and they make me happy nevertheless.

Now to today's blog entry: I really don't love talking about my Multiple Sclerosis. It brings up bad feelings. It makes me remember that I have it. I like the whole, "Out of sight, out of mind" motto. Maybe in my case it should be, "Out of mind, out of my damn brain!". Even if it doesn't make it true. I don't even like to really read books about MS. I will, but I'd prefer to read a nice novel and get swept away to another life. However, I was just speaking to someone about my MS and I thought I'd just write a quick note about how I, personally, deal with it. I did okay talking about it. I hope! It has taken a looong time. Six years. It's still no picnic. But I can do it. That, in itself, is a victory. It's also nice to be able to tell someone something that might possibly help them. Multiple Sclerosis is a disease that doesn't have a lot of support. I do not mean to belittle other diseases. They ALL suck! But we really don't have a lot of places to turn to. That can be really hard.

First, I try not to think about it. Sound stupid? Probably. You know how they say that there's the power of positive thinking? I know I feel better when I do not focus on it. I'm not saying to ignore it, or to not educate yourself. I've read tons of books on the subject. I just try to not let it rule my life. I do better when I wake up not thinking, "I have MS." but rather just waking up and thinking, "What am I going to do today?". The more days I have where I can forget for awhile that I have MS? The better I feel.

But, when you do have to think about it and read those books and do that research, stick with uplifting things. Montel Williams is a hero of mine. A fellow MS patient, he is so optimistic. I can read his books and be inspired, not depressed.

I play with my rescue puppy Sid. I saved him from the pound. He had a tough life before he came to live with me, but now there's no more spoiled dog on this planet. Maybe Paris Hilton's dogs. But he has a better mom than they do. In my very biased opinion anyway. ;-) He makes me smile like no other. He relieves stress when he grins at me and flashes his Billy Idol toothy smile. Yep, he's a recurring theme here.

I do yoga or I meditate. I try to find my center in my wobbly world. I am a weeble. But remember! Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down!!

I read. I escape to another world. I love my Kindle. My eyesight is okay at the moment, but the Kindle allows you to change the font size to REALLY BIG if you need it. Or listen to an audio book!

So, that quote for today, "Illegitimi non carborundum", it means: "Don't let the bastards grind you down."

Don't let them. Don't grind yourself down either.

My New Reading List

First off, let me thank Amazon and my Kindle for all the awesome free books I was able to download! Time to start reading all those books I never read in high school. ;-)  I am a fairly quick reader, but since these are classics, not a quick read like my Nora Roberts or even something long like a Stephen King novel that I would tear through anyway, I'm afraid I can make no promises as to how soon I'll get through these. But, I remain hopeful.


Here's a list of the books I plan on getting through. There's a lot!


Walden Henry David Thoreau
Ethan Frome Edith Wharton
Siddhartha Hermann Hesse
Winesburg, Ohio Sherwood Anderson
Dead Souls Nikolai Gogol
Middlemarch George Eliot
Madame Bovary Gustave Flaubert
Crime and Punishment Fyodor Dostoyevsky
The Brothers Karamazov Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Treasure Island Robert Louis Stevenson
House of Mirth Edith Wharton
The Portrait of a Lady Henry James
War and Peace Leo Tolstoy
Paradise Lost John Milton


I've already started on Walden, but I'd like your opinion on what books you've read and which ones you've loved. What do you think I should read next? Also feel free to tell me something that might not be free, I can always go to the library. It's on the same block as my place. Joy! Has anyone ever read Catch-22? I've always wanted to read that but never have. It wasn't a free download, so I'll have to go to the library for that one. Let the opinions flow people!

Took My Final Today!!!

I'm pretty sure I aced it too!! Even if I didn't, I know I still passed the class! Go me!

Sorry, just had to celebrate. :)

Tomorrow, I get to wake up at the butt crack of dawn to register for the new semester. But after that, I have three weeks off. Three much needed weeks off.

I've downloaded a lot of free books onto my Kindle. I'll post my to-read list later. I am WAY behind on crocheting my friend's birthday afghan (sorry girl). And I really need to work in the garden a bit. But for tonight, I'm relaxing and enjoying that I kicked some major ass in this class.

And I did it on a Monday.

Let's See If Any Of This Comes True...

Year 2011 Overview

As the consummate social butterfly of the zodiac, you'll be thrilled to hear that the major planetary emphasis takes place in your social sector in 2011. Expect your agenda to be chock full of parties and events to keep you busily buzzing without pause.


The year begins on a romantic note with Venus gracing your relationship sector. But as the year unfolds, you'll be making so many new friends and networking contacts, you'll barely have time to think about intimacy with one person. The more the merrier is one of the year's central themes. You have a knack for attracting interesting characters from every walk of life and finding what's special about them. It's your insatiable curiosity that brings out the gems in all you meet. And the more you can learn about yourself through the continuous onslaught of new personalities and alliances livening up your social scene, the happier and more fulfilled you will feel.

With Pluto still excavating the depths of your soul, your interest in psychology and desire to plummet your own depths only gets stronger throughout 2011. Asking the deeper questions about what really makes you tick can open many wonderful doors. Self-knowledge is power. When Jupiter, the planet of philosophy and expansive thinking enters your subconscious sector right around your birthday, you'll be blessed with amazing vision, renewed perspective and a series of Eureka moments and kismet meetings with amazing people. 2011 is the year for expanding your horizons, meeting kindred spirits and finally creating the community of your wildest dreams.



Gemini Month of August Love Horoscope
Sometimes you and your partner (or potential partner) just aren't on the same wavelength. If that's the case on the 1st or 2nd, don't get your feathers in a bunch. After all, if you always understood each other perfectly, where would the fun be? A relationship is about relating, and that is always a process of trial and error. You've got to be willing to make mistakes, and willing to let them make mistakes, if you really want to make this work. Go for a really long run or swim or walk or bike ride on the 5th and 6th, and something important will suddenly become clear to you. Have you always been the one pushing your partners away because you aren't comfortable setting boundaries? Don't let work rule your life on the 10th and 11th, even if it's taking up a lot of your energy. Tap into some seriously social impulses on the 17th and 18th, and see who you meet! Feeling fantastic on the 22nd and 23rd? That's because you are fantastic. And they can't wait to hang out with you! Talk it all over on the 28th and 29th. Romance has something up its sleeve on the 30th and 31st.

Speaking of love, here's my dream man: Paul Rudd.

Oh so dreamy, smart, great taste in music and he's funny. Why can't I find a Paul Rudd? Or even a knock-off Paul Rudd? Where is my Fairy Godmother and what is her deal? She's seriously slacking.

Do It Today... You Know You Don't Want To Do It Tomorrow!

Here's a picture of the love of my life... Sid Vicious!! I took him to the groomer's today and he smells so nice and clean and looks so handsome! He comes out strutting, like, "Yeah, I know I look good." I think it's the pretty bow they put on him. I haven't told him it's girlie. I think the colors are masculine. ;-)

I also did my laundry this a.m. I was trying to get as much cleaning done as possible while he was at the groomer's, but couldn't do any major stuff (mopping,  vacuuming, cleaning the toilet or shower, anything that would make me sweaty... ewww) until I picked him up. I didn't want to be all gross and smelly. Judging by half the people that were out and doing their own errands, I shouldn't have worried. Was that too evil? Oh well. If I can tell you need a shower, and I was able to get myself looking at least presentable this morning, why can't other people? At least brush your hair.

I did debate just not cleaning at all once I got home with my puppy love. I was tired, I had my puppy home and clean and happy. Plus, I saw I had a new magazine in the mail. But, I persevered. I think only because I knew I DO NOT want to wake up early tomorrow to do it. I know I'll be glad I did tomorrow. That way I can wake up, do some yoga, and if I feel up to it, get my filthy dirty car washed. But only if I feel like it.

Oh, and good news about the final! My awesome teacher gave us a review with pretty much all the answers. The final accounts for 5% of our grade, so even if I did fail it, I know I've passed the class! Go me!! Woot woot! Woot was actually added to the Oxford English Dictionary. Needless to say, I am disgusted with the Oxford English Dictionary. Meh, whatevs.

I did not pass my Computer Challenge test though. Which means I'll have to take that class next. I got a 76% and needed an 80%. Kinda bummed, I know the class is a beginner's class and will be super easy and just set me back on my timeline. But, life goes on.

Before I sign off, I want to hello to my new followers! Who could you possibly be? Thank you for signing up and following me. It means more to me than you can imagine. Love you all and thank you for your kind words of inspiration!!!

Migraine, Migraine, Go Away...

And don't come back another day.

And I was doing so well. Damn. Final day of school before my final, so I have to this gone before class. Then I can deal with it. The final is on Monday and I do need to study all weekend. But today, we're doing a final review. So... go away migraine! Thank you!

On a happier note, I was driving to class on Tuesday and I hear a honk. I turn to my right side where I get the "Hey, what's up," nod from a biker dude. Sadly, said biker dude looked like a member of ZZ Top. But, I'll still take that as I can turn guys' heads. Right? Happy Wednesday all!

First Day of Blogging...

Welcome to my blog!

It may well be the most boring blog on the planet! I'm not trying to scare you off, just a fair warning. I have Multiple Sclerosis and therefore am not having wild, crazy adventures. Just the day to day adventures of dealing with this dumb disease. I will, on occasion, do really stupid things which I will post for your enjoyment. After all, someone ought to enjoy them. I am currently enrolled in school, deciding if I should re-enter the workforce(terrified to lose my disability benefits), all while living with MS. It makes everything a little bit tougher.

Let's start at the beginning, shall we? I am currently 32 years young. I am a female. I was diagnosed at age 25 with MS. I was working full-time, going to school at night, when I woke up one morning with extreme vertigo and double vision, which led to vomiting because I felt sea sick. I thought it was the Taco Bell I ate after school the night before. Wouldn't you? Cut to a week later, I'm in the hospital having been diagnosed with relapsing/remitting MS. I won't lie. It did suck. A lot.

I spent the next 3 years focusing on getting better, all while attempting to get put on disability. My advice for anyone with MS trying to get on disability, get a lawyer. I had to before they approved me. Also make sure to get a neurologist you love. They will become a fixture in your life. You need to trust them completely. What sucks about this disease is that we can look completely normal, even though we have lesions on our brains that make it light up like a Christmas tree on our MRI. Especially when you're young, people do not believe you are as sick as you are. I think that's why I was denied for disability for so long, but a lot of people have told me they deny everyone at least three times.

Life has had its ups and downs, but I am blessed. I have loving and supportive family and friends. They always put the air conditioner vents in the car facing me (it's the small things sometimes). They are there for me in so many other ways too. I still live with my mommy. Yay! At 32! But what would I do without her? She also helps with my shots. How on Earth am I supposed to get the back of my arms by myself?

Six years after being diagnosed, I am almost feeling like I did when I was still "healthy". As healthy as I ever was, I mean. I am on medication. Three times a week I have to inject myself, my mom does help, as I mentioned. I do have many, many, many lesions for someone my age. I don't like writing that. It feels like it's not true if I don't say it. I am always tired. If you're reading this and you have MS, or know someone who does, then you know what I'm talking about. The migraines are still constant. But I am able to walk. Pretty normally too! I just trip more often than your normal 32 year old. People ask if I have "upper" or "lower" MS and I suppose I have "upper". I don't have a problem in my legs really, just my head. The double-vision comes back on occasion. I have to stay out of the heat, but my English/Irish ancestry makes me stay out of the sun anyways. I do yoga at least 4 times a week. I only miss it if I'm sick or having an "MS" week. When I have a bad day, I always just say, "It's the plaque!".  I also use that when I forget something. (Side-note: make notes for yourself. To-Do lists, Post-It notes. I find they all help me remember to do the small things like take the dog to the groomer's before the day is halfway over)

I guess I started this to chronicle for myself how I'm doing with Multiple Sclerosis and to show others out there that it's okay. It gets better. If you were just diagnosed, there are a lot more medicines then there were 20 years ago. Of course, I have depressed days too, but all in all, it could be much worse. I met a friend at an MS Walk who told me that everyone on Earth is disabled, they just don't know what they have yet. And it's true. At least we know what we're up against.

So, keep your head up and be proud of your daily accomplishments. MS is a daily battle, and every night when you go to bed, congratulate yourself on what you've accomplished. No matter how small. Doing the dishes, walking the dog, doing some yoga, or even just making it through another day. If you are walking though... keep on eye on what's ahead of you instead of keeping your head up. I don't want anyone else tripping.  :)