Finding My Balance Again

First things first- yes, I have annoyingly changed the name of my blog. AGAIN! I'm a Gemini and obviously very indecisive. I pretty much changed it back to what it was originally, but with the addition of my name so it starts with an "A". The "A" also stands for "AWESOME"!!!  And, I admit, this keeps it apart from all the other blogs about Multiple Sclerosis that start with an "M". Tune in next week folks to see what else I change my mind about. Will it be the name of my blog (probably not since I just did that), will I become a  blonde (I kinda doubt it, but never say never), or will I just change the color of my toenail polish (if you're the betting kind- I'd choose that one).
I also joined Google +. What does that mean? As soon as I figure out what on Earth I'm doing on there and how to use it- I'll let you know.

Now onto the blog.
Apologies about the rant on my last post. I just really need to find a new apartment. It's frustrating when you want to get so many things accomplished and you can't- because you have inconsiderate neighbors who interrupt your sleep constantly.
I want to wake up early and work out so I can get my triglycerides down, as well as improve my general health. But I need more rest.
I really want to go back to work part time and feel like a contributing member of society. But I can't even begin to focus on that right now while I'm stressing. And get I need to get more rest.
I want to be just a generally more active person. I know I'll never be a gung-ho go-getter who can do a million things in a day like some amazing people I know. I envy them and their vivacity, get-up-and-go, motivation, and plain old energy. Yeah, I used a Thesaurus. Shush, I'm tired. I ran out of synonyms. I just want 1/4 of the energy that a normal person has; and I would have, if it wasn't for those meddling kids. Oh wait... that's Scooby-Doo. I mean those noisy upstairs neighbors.

Sorry, went off on a tangent. Now where was my poor scattered brain again? Oh yes. I was able to work out this morning. Did a little yoga. Kinda tipped over while doing a twist in a warrior pose. Kinda scared my poor dog. It was actually really funny. I laughed out loud. At MYSELF! Now how many people can say that about their day-to-day-lives? I was never in any danger, I can assure you... I almost always tip over while doing yoga. Especially when doing twists. That, I definitely blame on the MS. I used to be a Varsity Song-Leader in High School. I have dancing skills dammit. I used to have balance skills. Well, better balance skills than I have now. Here's what the crescent half moon pose should IDEALLY look like:

Here's the link to an article on how to do the pose, by Sara Ivanhoe, my favorite yoga instructor. 

http://www.health.com/health/article/0,,20411838,00.html

Try it, if you are able, just for kicks! Let me know how you do!! Be very careful though... and maybe move any nearby coffee tables. By the way, Sara Ivanhoe's following me on Twitter. Eeek!! I'm so stoked!! I feel so popular!!


Doing my yoga today and getting back on a schedule was a good thing for me. I feel better, like I can do things again. I have to remind myself that no matter what stresses arise in my life- nothing is more important than my health. If you have your health- you have everything. So daily yoga, watch out. I will be knocking crap off of my coffee table and scaring poor Sid much more frequently. And I'll feel much better for it. Namaste.

Quick Update: My Google + name is Ali Bab. if you have problems finding me, please send me a message. I'm new to it too. But I believe you can find me by that... I hope. I'm also on Pinterest now, but I'm on there by my full name, so you have to message me for that and then I can give you the link. Happy Saturday!!

So, Where Was I? Oh Yeah... Blergh...

Blergh is the only way to describe how I have unfortunately been feeling since the New Year started. Resolutions? What resolutions? I've barely been able to think about them because I've been fighting a damn flu/cold that just will NOT go away since the beginning of the year. Blergh. I'll start to feel better and then- blammo! Feeling sick again. I missed a lot of things because of it. I'm sneezing as I type this, but I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. Okay, pity party over.

I am very sorry that after all my grand plans to blog more... I haven't. I had nothing to talk about and I really lacked the energy to get up and do it- even it something amazing had happened. Like Michael Fassbender crawling out of my TV screen. (A girl can dream right?) Actually, I could probably do a whole blog on him and how beautiful he is. And no, I did not just jump on that band-wagon. I have loved him since I first saw him on Hex on BBC America. For my 32nd birthday, I made my friends go with me to see X-Men: First Class. MMM, Michael Fassbender. But I know that there's absolutely no point in having a blog about living with MS and then leaving people without reading anything. Then again, if you have MS, you know how easy it is to stay in bed and watch Michael Fassbender movies instead of making yourself get up and do something.

So, what have I been doing, you might be asking? Crocheting and watching Downton Abbey. Yep. Crazy cat lady, here I come. I'm almost done with an afghan for a friend. I'm only about a year behind. Whoops. 

I did manage to get up and do a little yoga this morning. Was that a good idea? I don't know yet. I am proud of myself for doing it though. It's so gloomy and rainy today. If there was ever a day to stay in bed and watch some Masterpiece Theater, it would be today. 

I'll be resting up and crocheting, trying to get better. It's pouring cats and dogs. It should be easy to rest up today. I hope everyone is feeling good and healthy and that if you made any resolutions of your own, I hope you have been able to stick to them better than I have. Happy Monday readers!!

These photos were added at 4:02 P.M. I blame my cold. I just want to show that even with my MS and my horrid balance... I do pretty well on my Wii. Wiiiii!!! Sorry, my little brother and I always have to do that when we say it.

The first pic is my Wii Fit age: 24. Not my best, but not too bad. The best has been 20. 12 years younger. Gulp.

On the Dual Balance Test, I am just lucky if I can complete it. Today I did it in 28.39 out of 30 seconds. Go me!

 And finally, the Single-Leg Test. Yep, I hold on to the entertainment center. The Wii says I'm allowed to. So shush. I scored 99%. I'm proud. :)

I'm Didn't Disappear... I Just Have MS

I know, I know... long time, no blog. I've just been busy with the holidays. And as anyone with MS will tell you, a little bit of stress to a normal healthy person, can shut us down completely. So, while I love my blog and have the best of intentions when it comes to keeping it updated, it is kinda the first thing to fall by the wayside when life gets busy.

I'm finally done with this semester of school. Hallelujah! I'm registered for the winter semester and finally got my last pre-req class.Thanksgiving and all the delicious food and wonderful family time has come and gone, and now Christmas looms on the horizon. I have a lot of crochet projects up my sleeve for Christmas gifts and that's taking up a lot of my time.

I also had my blood drawn and found out that my triglycerides are super high. Yep, bummer. My diet's not bad, but there goes my favorite fountain sodas. Oh wells. I also am trying to get my butt on the treadmill and elliptical machine in the apartment gym more often. Yoga doesn't get the heart pumping enough. I hate jogging and that damn, evil elliptical, but I'm trying my best! It can be hard with the MS since I'm not supposed to overheat. So, I have to get my heart pumping, but not too much. Make sense?

Otherwise, things are going really well. I wanted to do a Thanksgiving blog about what I'm thankful for, but instead my brother came down and visited and we played Super Mario Bros. Galaxy on the Wii and saw The Muppets. So good. So worth it. But here's what I'm thankful for:
My family and friends- they are awesome and so supportive
My pets
My Dr.'s and the office staff who help me all the time. Like, ALL the time
My health, as crappy as it can be, it could be worse
Chocolate
Books
This blog, where I can vent my feelings and hopefully reach someone else who is going through the same thing
I'm thankful for many, many other things, but I'll stop there.

Thanks for reading. I hope you have a wonderful December. It's the last month of 2011. Let's make it rock! :)

MS Symptoms or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

I was so fatigued over the past weekend. Was I getting sick? It felt like I was fighting off an end of summer cold. Hot days, A/C in buildings, and cooler nights; they tend to give me a cold. Or is the usual, crappy feeling that everyone with MS knows and fights on a daily basis? Or is it six of one, half a dozen of the other? I have included a link on MS and fatigue help, but I haven't found the magic cure yet. I was on Amantadine. It helped, but I am apparently allergic to it. My legs looked like you could see every vein. Very scary. Not to mention, not very aesthetically pleasing. I know it's vain, but it was also the fact that people with MS tend to run hotter; and not being able to wear shorts last summer sucked a lot. Now I am on Nuvigil. It's not covered by my insurance though. It's only about $350 a month. Yeah, don't I wish! Add to that- I've been suffering from lips that are cracking in the corners for about the past two months. I was doing some research online and saw that it could be a side effect of the Nuvigil. That sucks, because that stuff is like adding a double shot to your mocha Frappuccino! I like it, it works for me (other than the possibility it’s causing the cracked lips). So, next week, I will see my Neurologist and after that, my PCP, to find out what I can do. I do my best to keep up with my exercise, especially yoga since I feel like it centers me. God knows, people with MS need balance. I take a B12 vitamin in addition to my Women's One-a-Day. But I would love opinions on how others keep their energy up. I've read Montel Williams' books and he has a diet plan that seems great (shakes and stuff), but it doesn't seem extremely affordable or easy. I did read on about.com that someone recommended taking a 10 to 15 minute nap as needed throughout the day. I know that does help me. For someone who suffers such extreme insomnia at night, I have no problem dropping off for a 15 minute nap at any time during the day. And strangely enough, I do feel re-charged for a few hours. Now, how do I convince the rest of the world that that is acceptable behavior?

I also had a couple of days where I woke up with what I call the "MS twitch". It's waking up and doing that sleep jerk thing, like you do when you're nodding off, but a little bit more. It happens to me a lot in the mornings, usually when I am really tired. Sometimes it's accompanied by, not quite blurry vision, but it's almost like I can see an outline of my iris when I look at the wall or the floor. These symptoms are not too worrying to me. I have been feeling so much better than I was. The "twitch" and the fatigue are so much better than the double vision and the vertigo back when I was diagnosed. I know when I see my Neuro next week, he'll probably want me to schedule an MRI, but that's something I'm due for anyway.

I'm just very curious if anyone has found any natural cures for fatigue. Does anyone keep a diary of their symptoms? (I'm really bad, I don't track mine.) Are you on medication for fatigue, and if so, has it helped you? I was researching Provigil and Ampyra and I'll have to find out if they're covered by my insurance.

I was going to blog about dating the other day (or the lack of it in my life), but I was so tired I just watched movies all day. So, coming soon will be a blog about how to date with MS. How do you explain your cracked lips and the bruises from your shots, among other things? Where do you meet people nowadays? Other than online, that is? Hell, how to date in your 30's when you're a couch potato who has been told by WAY too many friends that she is "just like Liz Lemon". Nerds. Next time folks, I will tackle the issue of love: where it's hiding and how to find it. Until then, as always, take care and watch where you're walking. :)
http://tamingmultiplesclerosis.com/ms-spasms-twitching-tremors-article.html 
http://www.nationalmssociety.org/about-multiple-sclerosis/what-we-know-about-ms/symptoms/fatigue/index.aspx
http://www.mstrust.org.uk/information/opendoor/articles/0502_08_09.jsp
I hope the links showed up, the first time I added them, they didn't, so I had to do it again.

Illegitimi Non Carborundum

That Latin phrase that is the heading of this post? It's my quote of the day. I'll translate it at the end. Even though it's kind of a fake Latin phrase, it's one of my favorites. It has to do with how I feel about my blog subject today.

First, I'll explain that I LOVE a good quote. About anything. Life, love, books, learning, dogs, basically anything brilliant that someone has said in the past, I'll write it down in my journal (or now this blog) or on a Post-It note and refer to it as needed. I love brilliant minds.

Today is pretty darn hot for a Southern California day. My Internet says 79*, but it's muggy and gross outside. I think it's wrong and it's hotter. Thank you Jeebus for A/C and my momma for letting me run it. And no, Jeebus is not a typo. Google it if you have time. My fellow Simpsons fans will get it. So, I'm chilling inside, watching some 30 Rock and decided to write. Ahhh... 30 Rock. Good place for quotes. Not necessarily inspirational, but amusing and they make me happy nevertheless.

Now to today's blog entry: I really don't love talking about my Multiple Sclerosis. It brings up bad feelings. It makes me remember that I have it. I like the whole, "Out of sight, out of mind" motto. Maybe in my case it should be, "Out of mind, out of my damn brain!". Even if it doesn't make it true. I don't even like to really read books about MS. I will, but I'd prefer to read a nice novel and get swept away to another life. However, I was just speaking to someone about my MS and I thought I'd just write a quick note about how I, personally, deal with it. I did okay talking about it. I hope! It has taken a looong time. Six years. It's still no picnic. But I can do it. That, in itself, is a victory. It's also nice to be able to tell someone something that might possibly help them. Multiple Sclerosis is a disease that doesn't have a lot of support. I do not mean to belittle other diseases. They ALL suck! But we really don't have a lot of places to turn to. That can be really hard.

First, I try not to think about it. Sound stupid? Probably. You know how they say that there's the power of positive thinking? I know I feel better when I do not focus on it. I'm not saying to ignore it, or to not educate yourself. I've read tons of books on the subject. I just try to not let it rule my life. I do better when I wake up not thinking, "I have MS." but rather just waking up and thinking, "What am I going to do today?". The more days I have where I can forget for awhile that I have MS? The better I feel.

But, when you do have to think about it and read those books and do that research, stick with uplifting things. Montel Williams is a hero of mine. A fellow MS patient, he is so optimistic. I can read his books and be inspired, not depressed.

I play with my rescue puppy Sid. I saved him from the pound. He had a tough life before he came to live with me, but now there's no more spoiled dog on this planet. Maybe Paris Hilton's dogs. But he has a better mom than they do. In my very biased opinion anyway. ;-) He makes me smile like no other. He relieves stress when he grins at me and flashes his Billy Idol toothy smile. Yep, he's a recurring theme here.

I do yoga or I meditate. I try to find my center in my wobbly world. I am a weeble. But remember! Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down!!

I read. I escape to another world. I love my Kindle. My eyesight is okay at the moment, but the Kindle allows you to change the font size to REALLY BIG if you need it. Or listen to an audio book!

So, that quote for today, "Illegitimi non carborundum", it means: "Don't let the bastards grind you down."

Don't let them. Don't grind yourself down either.