tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7014705948017503419.post6775607387075678476..comments2013-01-12T10:53:29.116-08:00Comments on Ali's (Mis?)adventures With MS: Disney is a Big, Fat Liar to all Little Girls and It's Not FairAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00968028368257226136noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7014705948017503419.post-1872644111780521672011-10-03T22:36:12.519-07:002011-10-03T22:36:12.519-07:00Hey Ali -
Thanks for inviting me to your blog. Ve...Hey Ali - <br />Thanks for inviting me to your blog. Very nice. And very courageous of you to expose yourself to the "world". Your blog was very interesting and I found myself thinking through the whole thing "What's wrong with being alone?" Now you know my history w/relationships sucks big time and that I've been single almost all my life. But it was a choice I made. Since we're family and I spent 90% of my life with my nose in a book too--just like most of us women in the fam have--I'm wondering what kind of books you're reading? Romances? Because I found they reinforced my fantasy that Prince Charming was waiting around the corner. I just had to find the right corner. It's never going to happen. We come from a dysfunctional family and have never learned how to have a healthy relationship. In all honesty, not one of your Aunts and Uncles have had a relationship that lasted, and now the second generation of the family is struggling with the same relationship issues. You can't change things unless you learn something new. And one of the best ways to do that is through therapy, either one-on-one or group therapy. It's pretty amazing what happens when you're working with a group of people who are all on a path of self-discovery. That's what I would recommend for you. Forget finding a boyfriend for now. You said yourself that you've had a bunch of losers. Find out about yourself and maybe you can figure out why it's so difficult to find someone who understands you and supports you, and values every aspect of you and your kind heart. One of the things I know for sure is that anyone in our family can walk into a room with a thousand strangers, or get on the internet with millions of strangers, and STILL we will find the one person who is wrong for us--an alcoholic, an abuser, a drug addict--you know, all those wholesome types. And you know why that will happen?? You do, actually. You said in your blog that even if you found someone who meets all your criteria you wouldn't be able to talk to that person. And the reality is that you wouldn't know how to accept a man who could provide you love and support because it would make you uncomfortable, most likely because you don't think you're worth someone like that, so you'll sabotage the relationship just to be sure he get how wrong you are for him.<br /><br />Sheesh! Don't ask me whare all that came from, but I recognize a kindred soul. I'll keep up with your blog and look forward to more of your writing. I know one of us had it in us. Good for you.<br /><br />Love, Aunt Chrissy (sometimes old also means experienced)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7014705948017503419.post-70479481305833488692011-10-02T10:18:44.873-07:002011-10-02T10:18:44.873-07:00Thank you Steve. Especially for the aging graceful...Thank you Steve. Especially for the aging gracefully comment! I totally get where you're coming from and I am aware that as the female, all I have to do is crook my little finger at a man and he's mine. But, you know me, how likely am I to do that? Hell will likely freeze over first. A smile? Eye contact? I can do that. Maybe... ;) <br />I just needed those ideas(and more!) about where the men are. Places to meet them where it can lead to a conversation.<br />And I know life is not a fairy tale. So far from it. I wrote this as a warning that people should not let their little girls believe the hype that there is an easy way to love. We grow up with false beliefs. The path to love is a twisted road with lots of mistakes along the way.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00968028368257226136noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7014705948017503419.post-119381968241013532011-10-01T23:37:51.306-07:002011-10-01T23:37:51.306-07:00It's funny, how different our perspectives on ...It's funny, how different our perspectives on relationships are... You feel out of place being single, aging (gracefully, may I add), and struggling to find your place in this world. In your writing I can feel you putting pressure on yourself to change into... whatever. I'm married, aging, worried more about my oldest hitting the dating scene, and also feeling a bit out of place in the world.<br /><br />You see, very few of my friends are married. Of the ones that are married - they were hitched only recently. Of seven siblings I am the only one. Only four of us seven siblings are in serious relationships.<br /><br />Now, as a friend and male - you DO know that women hold all the cards. You can walk into any place - a restaurant, bar, wedding reception, library, video store, workplace, amusement park, movie theater, bowling alley, golf range... you get the picture - walk in to any place, point to a guy and he's yours. It's really that simple. If guys had that power, well, let's just say that it's a good thing guys don't have that power.<br /><br />So, since you've gone off on the cartoon tangent, and you seem to be seeking the answers to the prince charming thing, I'll finish with what the secret ingredient is in this married guy's relationship. The secret is there is no secret ingredient (Kung Fu Panda). <br /><br />Oh, and life surely ain't a cartoon, a movie, or a magazine ad.<br /><br />You put yourself out there, have some fun, and it'll just happen when you're not looking. It just happens.Steve Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12889639394013921847noreply@blogger.com